


Lofi/Calm/ASMR/Chill Beats to Cook, Study, and Turn Super Saiyan to

by Sunsinourhands



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, M/M, Multi, Raditz lies to himself a lot, You know for a series that does a lot of focus on food, there is very little written about cooks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28972677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunsinourhands/pseuds/Sunsinourhands
Summary: Raditz, Bardock, Gine, and some other Saiyans have been brought back in an effort to raise more high-powered warriors to keep Earth and Universe 7 out of trouble. There's only one problem. Gine starts worrying that Raditz isn't adapting well to Earth. He hasn't picked up any steady work. He's frustrated all the time and hardly making headway in his training. Even most of the other Saiyans have started picking up sweethearts on Earth. With his ego already bruised, Raditz concocts a Very Cunning Plan to bully some Earthling into fake-dating him long enough to find someone worthy of his time.The Kais are also making use of a new force, the Demi-Kai Corps of ascended mortals, to fill their ranks and keep things running until the Kai Tree can spit out some more Kais.
Relationships: Bardock/Gine, Raditz/OC
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter One: Steamed Rice

**Author's Note:**

> The pandemic is affecting all of us in new and strange ways. FOR ME, it means I've re-watched and re-read every food series I have available and have tried to wrap my head around the fact that Raditz just got fucking left to rot after getting murder-towned. Also anime food is the only thing that seems to be able to get me to work up any appetite these days so this is what you get.

//Measure out the dry white rice into a bowl. Pour cold water over top. Agitate the water and rice until the extraneous powder causes the water to become cloudy. This is called ‘rinsing’ the rice, and only uses water--never soap. Carefully pour off the water. Rinse the rice three more times. Then add the water once more to the corresponding line, shown here. You can add some sesame oil, or bone broth to enhance the flavor.

This modern rice cooker is very convenient, and can be programmed to cook the rice whenever you want by using this clock. But, cooking it in a traditional clay pot is said to be even tastier!

Rice has been a staple food on Planet Earth for thousands of years. In early history, generals would commonly wage war over rice farming land. As they say, an army marches on its stomach! 

There are several types of rice, all with their unique properties, textures and flavors. Son Goku’s favorite food is widely known to be rice--specifically a steamed, short-grain, white rice. He eats around four bowls of this size of rice at nearly every meal.//

The two Demi-Kais on screen continued to exchange various tidbits about rice history and cooking methods. While there was still a certain amount of grumbling at the concept of the Universe 7 Demi-Kais being on GodTube at all, the Demi-Kai food channels were starting to show huge viewership numbers. The ‘Foods of Earth’ series and ‘Prince Vegeta Recommends' series in particular were skyrocketing to the top of the charts in both Universes 6 and 7. As it turned out, there was nearly a 100% interest in what Goku, Vegeta, and their families ate amongst Saiyans--both living and dead.

Project ‘Promote Universe 7 Culture’ was going well, even exceeding first year projections. Kibito nodded, sipping at his green tea as he read the report. At this rate, he could approve of several other series without any worries of significant backlash. Beerus didn’t watch much of it, but bragged about the GodTube channel’s success. That would take some of the pressure off of Shin. If Beerus was happy enough, everyone else could stop worrying about imminent destruction. 

Few people, even across the other Universes, could deny that the Demi-Kai as a group were charismatic. They were polite, hard-working, efficient, and were otherwise near perfect support staff for the underpopulated Kais and Otherworld workers. While Kibito himself had been one of the most vocal detractors against the concept, even he had to admit that things would be a lot more overwhelming if the Demi-Kai Corps weren’t around. Plus, they wrote good reports and kept the hot tea flowing. Succinct. Detailed. Relevant. Organized. And the graphs. Kibito loved a good graph. 

Even if Old Kai wouldn’t stop bothering him for their pictures. 

Maybe listening to Bulma’s suggestion that they all be ‘cuties’ regardless of gender was an error in judgement. It seemed irrelevant at the time. 

The Kai stamped his approval seal onto the report and moved to the next: a proposal for a decorative night garden with species that only flowered in darkness. Looks like the reconstruction division of the Corps was keeping themselves busy. Kibito would take this work routine over impending disasters any day. 

“And the overall schedule for the month?” Kibito asked. 

The calendar was already sliding into place on his desk half way through the question. Yes. Yes. First wave of the Saiyan revival was scheduled for the afternoon. Fewer than a dozen were approved. Goku’s biological mother, father, and older brother were on the list. Although Raditz could cause some trouble, it wouldn’t be much. Even King Yemma himself could still keep Raditz in check. Kibito checked the listed supervision. Yes. It all looked fine. And there was the approval for King Yemma’s super deluxe bento and delivery. Made sense. Kibito didn’t doubt King Yemma would be stress eating over the whole situation. 

“And the delivery is being accompanied by someone cleared for hostile situations?” Kibito asked. 

“It’s Saffron, sir,” 

Kibibo nodded. There appeared to be very little that could actually rattle that one. And if something did rattle Saffron, she never panicked. Kibito could count on that one to keep a good head on her shoulders. 

\--------

“Fight me!” Raditz bellowed, pulling against the oni trying to hold him back. A blue oni holding onto Raditz’s leg was literally being dragged across the floor. Once Raditz got his body back, he was eager for a dust-up with the first Earthling he could find with a decent power level. He targeted a short, shrimpy-looking woman with black hair and eyes. But regardless of all of his challenges, she refused to defend herself like a warrior. Eventually, he chased her under a giant desk in the Otherworld Check-In Station, as if she could escape under there. 

“Come out of there you littl--” Raditz got cut off when the Earthling kicked him in the head with her high-heeled shoes. “--AUGH FUCK!!” he yelled, rubbing at the place where the heel dug in. 

“What the hell kind of boots are those?!” Raditz blocked the second clumsy kick with his arm. Fuck if it didn’t hurt, though! The biggest trouble was that the little shrimp wasn’t showing any warrior’s spirit at all. 

Raditz felt himself get pulled back by the scruff of his armor. 

“Didn’t you agree to behave yourself, Raditz?” Came a deep, familiar voice. 

“I was behaving! I  _ asked _ !” Raditz snarled. 

In the Otherworld, they didn’t have bodies. The sensation of being picked up like that by Bardock was nostalgic, but also strange--probably because Raditz had a few inches on the old man in height now that their bodies were returned. 

The tall Saiyan seethed, but knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against his own father. Fine. He’d back off. After all, Bardock was a far better challenge in the first place. Raditz didn’t need to bother with the small fry. 

“Raditz, don’t! She isn’t even a fighter!” Gine finally caught up with Bardock and their son. The small woman ran in front of the desk, kneeling down to offer a hand. 

“I saw the same uniform on that broadcast. She’s part of the support group _ for  _ fighters,” Gine said. 

“Right? You’re a member of the Demi-Kai Corps?” Gine asked. 

The woman under the desk peeked her head out, taking Gine’s offered hand and standing. 

“That’s right. I’m a member of the Culinary Division,” the woman said. 

Ugh. Talk about worthless smallfry. Raditz must have really let being dead get to him. The small human dusted off the front of her uniform. It was some sort of deep red over-jacket with golden yellow trim. Raditz filed the general look of it under ‘worthless weaklings’ in his head. Meanwhile, Gine began happily chatting up the Earthling. 

“And we’ll be able to see Kakarot soon?” Gine asked. 

“I am not privy to his personal schedule. But your case file shows that you’ll be settling close to his family home. He should be aware of the timetable in general, but I am afraid I cannot guarantee anything. I am told he does things at his own pace. I do have an RSVP here from his wife and sons that they will be attending the welcome dinner,” the Earthling replied. 

Gine clasped her hands, bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes, tail swinging in happiness. 

Ugh. Raditz wasn’t looking forward to seeing Kakarot, or his brats. Even less the Earth woman Kakarot had ended up shacked up with. But he would grudgingly admit his little brother and nephews had turned out well in terms of their enormous power. Raditz could play nice long enough to get some of that power for himself. What was most concerning was how fast both Gine and Bardock seemed to agree to this ‘play nice on Earth’ situation. 

Although, Raditz couldn’t deny that he thought his mother deserved any life she wanted after all she’d been through. He could just set her up with a cushy life on Earth and then leave after some training. With his father and Kakarot and his brood around, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything happening to Gine. 

Bardock narrowed his eyes at Raditz, almost as if he could hear the other Saiyan’s thoughts. 

Ok! Ok! Take it easy, old man! 

Raditz grumbled to himself but tried to cool his jets. 

The small Earthling led Gine, Bardock, and Raditz to a small platform where they would be sent back to the mortal world. She prattled on about some nonsense. The big Saiyan caught a few details, such as the fact that Capsule Corp was providing a portable home for a few months so they could build one that better suited their preferences. Pff. At least Raditz and his family were finally getting some of the treatment they deserved. 

“Will you be there as well?” Raditz heard Gine ask as the human woman passed a bundle of papers to her. 

“Yes, I will be on duty at the official welcome dinner. Until then, I believe Mrs. Son has issued an outstanding invitation for you to eat at her residence. The Son farm should be visible from the air above your residence,” the human said. 

Gine nodded, a wide smile on her face. 

“Do you know about hunting in the area?” This time Bardock asked. 

“I don’t really hunt myself. But, the general area should have a wide variety of game. It’s quite wild, so I imagine the rivers and lakes would have plentiful fish species. Normally I would caution a hunter against the giant boars and dinosaurs, as they can be aggressive. However, they should pose no threat to you. If I remember correctly, the Son family are avid hunters, so they should be able to provide you with detailed information, including how to prepare the meat,” the human answered again. 

Bardock made a low ‘hm’ sound as he processed the information. More than likely, he was considering if the animal population could sustain the three of them. But, if the Son family had been there for a long time, it could at least keep Goku and his children in meat. 

“Any restrictions?” Bardock asked. 

“Only on the time of year, sir. This gives the animal populations time to reproduce and repopulate. But, local farmers generally consider large predators and the deer to be pests. So they would welcome hunting during the allowed periods. Few families have settled the area due to the presence of large predators, so I do not doubt there will be plentiful game,” the human answered. 

That seemed to satisfy Bardock. Even when Raditz was just a brat, Frieza limited the amount of meat his low ranking soldiers could eat. Gine had worked as a meat distribution worker as long as Raditz could remember. He also remembered that it felt like there was never enough meat, even when he was tiny. It would be a real rarity to eat his fill for once. 

“Ah, but I cannot recommend bear. In my humble opinion, it tastes like wet dog smells. The amount of preparation that goes into making it palatable makes it not worth the time,” the human added. 

Ugh. What was she blabbering on about now? Meat was meat! That was the trouble with weaklings with a sheltered upbringing. Probably came from some rich family where she didn’t have to worry about things like where her next meal came from. Pitiful, spoiled princess. He’d eat bears if he wanted to. 

The Earthling that transported them back to the mortal world left shortly after showing them the area and handing over the temporary home capsule. Bardock and Gine were both fascinated by the Capsule Corp technology--the old man especially rubbing his hand over his chin for a few minutes as he tried to figure out how it worked. 

The three Saiyans were hardly in their new home for an hour before Chichi and her boys came knocking on the door. Gine practically ran to the door to answer. Before Raditz knew it, the house was filled with guests, and Chichi was insisting on giving Gine a large box full of home-grown vegetables from the farm. 

Raditz made a dismissive noise, turned, and accidentally caught Chichi’s eye. Even thought Raditz had yet to learn ki sensing, Chichi’s glare could have curdled milk on the spot. Maybe it was his poor manners. Raditz knew Gine would have scolded him for it if she knew. Or, maybe the woman had never forgiven Raditz for what he did to her husband or son. Either way, Raditz knew in that very second, that Chichi might have his head on a pike if she could get away with it. And Raditz suddenly found that someone had to go hunt for some meat for cooking, and that someone might as well be him. 

When Raditz was sure that the Earthlings would be gone, he dragged in two fish that were each nearly two-thirds of his own size. On one hand, the shrimpy Earthling hadn’t been wrong about the hunting in that area being good. That gave the large Saiyan an odd mixture of satisfaction and irritation. 

“Oh wow! It’s two big Lake Barons!” Kakarot’s younger son shouted as soon as Raditz entered. The brat was the spitting image of Kakarot. 

Chichi leaned over from the other side of the wall. 

“You’re right! Those are a really good size. We’d better get them cooked up quick, or they’ll start losing their freshness--” Chichi seemed to pull an apron out of nowhere and began hustling Raditz towards the kitchen. Ugh. He’d come back late, just to find out the Earthlings were  _ still _ there, and had apparently been given the full tour. Gine was hot on her heels, offering to assist. 

Raditz felt his hackles rise, and almost demanded that they leave. But, by the time he actually decided to go through with it, there were already smells  _ wafting _ from the kitchen. In the end, he had to hand it to Chichi. The woman could make a damn fine meal. Although, he supposed that if she birthed and raised two Saiyan boys, she would have to be able to. The big Saiyan couldn’t remember a time when he’d been able to eat that much fish, and Chichi kept both the rice and side-dishes flowing. 

It took a lot of badgering on Chichi’s part for both Gine and Bardock to eat as much as they wanted. It had probably been a long time since they were able to. But, neither of them could argue that there was still plenty left, after the plates of cooked food began piling up in the kitchen. 

Raditz retired early from the meal, his stomach aching in a pleasant way that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. He still wasn’t happy about the concept of playing nice with Kakarot and his family and even less so with that mother fucker Vegeta and his family. But, at least this worthless rock seemed to have decent food going for it. 


	2. Chapter Two: Chicken Curry (Saffron Style)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just try adding the sauce. You'll like it.

//For this curry, you have to start with the chicken! We recommend chicken breast and thigh. First, coat the pot with some oil, and heat it up. In the meantime, dice the onions, and cut the carrots and potatoes into small, bite-sized pieces. You can also use butter instead of oil, for a deeper, richer taste. Cut the chicken meat into bite-sized pieces. This helps them cook faster and ensures no meat remains uncooked. First, cook the onion, stirring it until it becomes transparent like this. You can also add garlic at this stage. Then, add the carrots, then the chicken. Then, add the potatoes.

Once the chicken pieces have browned on the outside, add enough water to cover the ingredients. Then add in the curry cubes. At this stage, you can use a hand-made spice mix, but for most cooks or those cooking for large groups, we recommend the curry cubes you can easily buy at a store. Today, we’re checking out the preparation for an official Demi-Kai Corps Culinary Division Event! Saffron likes to add a secret ingredient! 

For people who move their bodies a lot, strong and salty flavors are usually favored over subtle flavors. I like to add some of this Worcestershire Sauce to deepen the flavor and add some more salt. 

Ohh! So that’s the secret! As you can--oh. Oh that--SAFFRON THAT IS HALF A BOTTLE! 

If you only add a few tablespoons, it means you’re a coward. //

“Please wait while the food is being finished. In the meantime, please enjoy these appetizers and beer. Today’s appetizers are salted cucumbers and crispy-fried salmon skin,” Saffron set two platters onto the table, one of each appetizer. As if by magic, several large glasses, all foaming with amber-colored beer, all thumped onto the table at the same time. 

Gine was already half-way through her beer before thumping it back on the table with a happy exclamation. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such good beer! It was crisp, refreshing, and the carbonation was just right! Gine couldn’t remember ever visiting somewhere so fancy that appetizers were offered. 

Both the crispy salmon skin and the salted cucumbers were fantastic. But, they went so well with the beer as well. The small Saiyan was about to tell Bardock to try it, but the man was way ahead of her. He slammed the glass mug on the table, eyes closed. Then immediately shouted for another glass. 

Shit. Bardock thought the alcohol on Earth would be worth drinking, but he hadn’t realized just how much he missed a cold one after so long without a body. He had to admit the appetizers were good as well. In that moment, he missed nothing more than his old squad from before Planet Vegeta’s destruction. They would have all appreciated good food and drink like this. 

Well. Not like they couldn’t be brought back, too. Many of the Saiyans had a sense of unfinished business, which made it easier for them to keep their memories and personalities while in the afterlife. It was hard to imagine any of them just accepting things as they ended up. In a handful of years, he might be eating meat and drinking beer with the old crew like in the old days. Bardock threw back the second beer as soon as he could, only then partaking of the appetizers. He heard a giant Saiyan with reddish hair bellow ‘ANOTHER’ from across the event area then smash the glass against the floor. They were immediately surrounded by people asking them not to destroy the glasses. Heh. They had the right spirit. More worrying, Raditz had barely touched anything, and was glowering with his arms crossed. He barely reacted when Saffron returned with more beer, and a second plate of fried salmon skins. She asked if Gine wanted more salted cucumbers, taking the empty plates and glass mugs onto a tray. 

“It’s not poisoned, boy. Only a fool says no to free food and beer,” Bardock grumbled after looking over at Raditz. 

Tsk. Raditz had spent no small amount of time mulling over just exactly what he would say to Prince Vegeta when he met him next. And it turned out his royal highness hadn’t deemed this a worthy event to even show his face. 

He’d waited. Raditz fully expected Vegeta to revive him once he remembered. Even after he killed Nappa. He was so certain that after Frieza was dead, that he and Nappa were first in line for revival. 

And then the time never arrived. 

Raditz waited and waited and waited. And Vegeta seemed to have forgotten about him completely. Was this the reward for decades of loyalty? For standing with Vegeta without question and without complaint for all those years? After all the shit Vegeta and Nappa threw his way for being the weakest out of them? 

“Are the appetizers not to your liking?” the voice came from somewhere to Raditz’s side. The question derailed his train of thought, and he barely restrained himself from jumping. 

“If you have a particular item in mind, I can bring out one plate before the main meal,” Saffron offered. 

“Tsk. You’re that shrimp from before,” Raditz said, remembering his first encounter with the small Earthling. Then an idea hit him. In retrospect, it wasn’t a smart idea. But, Raditz couldn’t help his habit of taking out his irritation on someone else at that moment. 

“I doubt you’ll have anything. But I have a taste for spicy food,” Raditz said. 

Under Frieza, high quality ingredients and spices were reserved for the rich or the super-elite. Even Prince Vegeta had rarely had a chance to dine on the same things that Frieza and his family ate. The stratified ranking system meant that Raditz, Nappa, and Vegeta were often just left with whatever they could hunt and cook on their own. And the Frieza Force cantine was well known to be awful, low-quality food that was mostly made of cheap filler. 

“Hold on, Raditz! You’re being rude!” Gine harshly whispered from over her beer. 

“Not at all. Because of my pride as a member of the Culinary Division, I couldn’t possibly leave a customer dissatisfied with their first taste of food on this planet. Please wait a moment,” Saffron answered, and then disappeared past the tables of diners into the capsule-corp kitchen the Demi-Kai Corps had set up. 

Bardock sighed, then took another piece of fried salmon skin. Raditz didn’t have such an awful attitude when he was a kid. He supposed that maybe Raditz might be feeling envious that everyone’s attention was on Kakarot and Vegeta’s accomplishments. But that wasn’t an excuse to try to embarrass the people providing a complimentary meal--and a good one at that. Clearly whoever had looked after Raditz after Frieza blew up Planet Vegeta hadn’t been a good influence. He made eye contact the Gine over the table. 

Someone else took over serving the table while Saffron was gone. Maybe a quarter of an hour, Saffron returned with a plate as the other Demi-Kais began serving large plates of rice and the long-awaited curry. 

“Thank you for waiting. For you, we have a squid salad with shiitake mushrooms, chili sauce, and plenty of fresh chilis. I hope this is to your taste,” she said, placing the appetizer in front of Raditz. 

Shit. They’d been able to pull something off after all. Raditz would be lying if he said he had actually expected them to have access to ingredients like that, and that they’d just have them on hand. One look at Bardock told him that he’d get his ass handed to him if he didn’t try the dish. 

Squid meat rings and tentacles were the most obvious ingredient. There were also some very thin slices of some kind of mushroom. A cursory smell revealed that the sauce was more complex than he thought it would be. The most prominent smells were sour, and then a few different kinds of spicy. There was an overriding burning scent, and some punches of acrid sting as well. At the base, there was also a fragrant, nutty smell. Probably from some sort of oil. He’d asked for a high-class dish, and he’d received one. Nervously, Raditz selected a small ring of squid meat and popped it in his mouth.

Raditz was well aware he had talked a big game about spices. He’d rarely had the equivalent of black pepper. Nevermind higher quality or rarer items like hot peppers. The combination of seasonings and sauce pierced his sinuses, causing his nose to run almost immediately. And yet. 

And yet, he couldn’t deny that it was  _ good _ . The squid meat was chewy, but tender. The sauce was complex, and flavorful. A sharp sour flavor gave way to sweet, then spicy. All through, that mellow fragrance melded everything together. The various vegetables mixed into the dish were also tasty--HOT. On accident, Raditz inhaled a piece of pure, fresh pepper and began coughing. Out of reflex, he reached for his untouched beer and downed all of it in a bid to wash that pepper out of the back of his throat. Fuck, the beer was good, too. 

The big Saiyan spent a few moments wrestling with how he was going to save his pride with this one. But, Raditz knew he didn’t have the experience with high-class food to even know where to start trying to find something to criticize about it. He couldn’t think of a damn thing. 

Bardock had originally just planned to glare at Raditz until the boy finished the dish and learned his lesson. However, he couldn’t help but feel intrigued when he caught a whiff of the seasonings. He nabbed a piece when Raditz was occupied with washing the spice down with his drink. 

Heh. That was good. Bardock stole a few more pieces. Then he downed another mug of beer. Ugh. He was going to have to get Raditz’s new attitude straightened out. Sooner was probably better than later. 

“Raditz, what happened to you?” Gine’s words were slightly slurred. 

Oh no. 

Gine was a lightweight for a Saiyan, and Bardock hadn’t even thought about counting her drinks. But, if he had to guess, she’d had nearly a dozen refills at that point. 

“You were such a good, honest boy, Raditz,” Gine began to tear up a little. 

Oh shit. 

Saffron had the ill fortune to return, plates in hand at that moment. Just after she finished setting down the heavy plates, Gine grabbed onto the Earthling’s waist and began apologizing. 

“I”m so sorry about my boy. We didn’t raise him to be like this,” Gine’s words came out muffled, but understandable. 

Raditz stood up at such a speed that he knocked his chair over. 

“Mother!” Raditz hissed through gritted teeth. 

This was too much. Raditz left the table and stomped off into the surrounding woods. 

Bardock yelled something after him, and Raditz just shot back something about needing a walk to clear his head. He’d be back in a second. 

Raditz was  _ not  _ back in a second. He ended up a few meters from the Capsule-Corp portable kitchen domes, crouched in the bushes and glowering at anyone that passed. This was ridiculous. Raditz wasn’t _ scared  _ of any of this. He just didn’t want to listen to his mother apologize for him to some pathetic weak shrimp of an Earthling. And he especially didn’t want to listen to anything the old man had to say about it. Everyone was just endlessly praising Kakarot and champing at the bit to follow  _ his  _ example. 

“What do  _ you _ want?” Raditz snarled at Saffron. 

“Your stomach was growling,” Saffron replied, handing Raditz a large bowl filled to the brim with rice and curry. 

Raditz snorted, but accepted the food. 

“And I suppose you’re also in line to jump on Kakarot’s dick with everyone else here?” He spat, then took an offered spoon and began digging in. 

“I actually find Mr. Son to be terminally stupid and wish he’d stop making all the trouble that he has to end up solving. It’s a zero-sum gain when you don’t consider the stress it puts everyone  _ else _ under,” Saffron answered. 

Raditz nearly choked on the meal.  _ GO ON _ , he felt himself mentally saying. 

“I suppose I thought he was something of a hero when I was younger. But, when Cell was going on a rampage he killed quite a few of the people I cared about. And then Mr. Son decided to let Cell  _ heal _ so he could ‘properly challenge’ his son. Felt a bit like a spit in the face. And I don’t think I need to spell out my feelings about this Universe Tournament,” she said. 

Now this was a new one for Raditz. People seemed to fall into two camps. Either they worshiped the ground Kakarot walked on, or they hated him because he was a Saiyan. An actual thought out criticism was strange. And yeah, Raditz was bitter about the whole ‘putting the entire universe on the line for no reason’ thing as well. 

Still, it was a bit uppity of a weakling like the shrimp to be criticising a warrior. But, that was Kakarot’s fault for making himself into some sort of protector for the planet. 

The large Saiyan polished off the bowl in what felt like record time. It was easier to eat around someone who had at least a half-dozen brain cells to rub together. He watched the small Earthling walk back into the kitchen, then return with another full bowl. Again, he took it without comment. Idly, he noticed Saffron set a full mug of beer down on the grass next to him. 

“Don’t suppose you have a younger brother that everyone likes better than you?” He asked, before he even realized he had. 

“No. The opposite. I was just the spare to the heir,” Saffron replied with an even tone. 

Oh  _ shit _ . Raditz wiped away the beer foam from his upper lip. Part of him wanted to laugh. Wasn’t that giving away a bit too much of a personal weakness? Heh. He knew about families like that, but he hadn’t expected someone to just say it with such a lack of feeling behind it. Well. Maybe the shrimp wasn’t worthless. She could cook, and wasn’t a complete idiot. 


	3. Chapter Three: Bacon-Fried Rice

//Bacon-fried-rice is a favorite among high school and college students! We start off with a wok,  some pre-steamed rice, and some smoked bacon. First, cut the bacon into small pieces, and  heat them in the wok. There is no need to add any oil. But, if you really want to make this dish  rich, you can add some butter after the bacon is cooked. Next, add in plenty of garlic and onions  and cook them in the bacon fat and butter until the onion is transparent. Then, add in a bag or  two of mixed frozen vegetables. It’s a good way of sneaking in vitamins and minerals for picky  eaters. Then, add in the cooked rice. Leftover rice from the day before is even better!

Stir often, until the rice is coated in the bacon fat, butter, and flavorings. We like to cook ours  until the rice forms a few crispy chunks on the bottom! Then, add some thinly sliced green onion  on top. This dish keeps well, and can be easily reheated in the microwave. You might want to  eat this in moderation, because it’s very rich in fats. This really brings back memories of  all-nighters before big exams. //

  
  


“So what happened next?” Kurbida splashed into the onsen and then settled into the water. It  barely came up to her ribcage.

“Well, the manager had already hidden in the back and made up some stuff about working on  very important stuff. So I just told the customer I couldn’t comp her meal, since she’d made the  mistake ordering it and it wasn’t a mistake on our end. Then she called me some names, threw  the ramen at me, and stormed out of the place while telling everyone how ‘dishonorable’ I was.  Then I went into the cooler and cried behind the salmon heads for a few minutes. Then the  manager came in and told me off for being ‘too emotional’ and ‘unprofessional,’” Saffron said.

“Are you joking? What an asshole. I would have quit right away,” Kurbida said.

“I mean, that’s basically what I did. It was about that time I got recruited into the Demi-Kai Corps  program. But I would have been in a lot of trouble otherwise. There just weren’t a lot of jobs  around back then,” Saffron stretched, oozing further into the water so only her chin and up were  above the steaming bath.

Both women made something of an odd pair in the Demi-Kai Corps dorm building. Saffron, with  her fine features, 5’0’’ height, and petite build fit the common look of a Demi-Kai. But, Kurbida  stuck out like a sore, muscular, mountain of a red-haired Saiyan thumb. At the same time,  Kurbida’s status as a woman meant that she was just as haggard as the Demi-Kais. So she was  allowed to use the onsen at the Dormitories as a gesture of understanding.

“You originally visited to ask about brewing supplies, right? What are you making?” Saffron a sked.

“A traditional alcohol. I tried some Earth honey, and boy it was something! Hard to believe Earth  bees can make it so well when they’re so small and passive. You guys even managed to  domesticate them. It’s fucking wild!” Kurbida roared with laughter.

“That sounds like mead. We should be able to get some supplies in short order. Do you know  what kind of honey you want?” Saffron asked, then started blowing bubbles in the bath.  
  


“There’s different kinds?” Kurbida paused, then asked.  
  


“You want me to book you some apiary tours?” Saffron offered.  
  


“Will there be samples? Kurbida asked.  
  


“You know there will be samples. Just tell us what you want and we can order it in bulk,” Saffron  replied.

The Demi-Kai reached towards a floating drinks tray. She took a large glass of brightly-colored  fruit juice with ice. According to Saffron, an ice-cold drink in a hot bath was one of the best  luxuries in the world. Kurbida thought that sounded like a pretty inexpensive luxury, but found  that she agreed with the Demi-Kai after trying it. Although, Kurbida thought she’d prefer some  chilled alcohol instead of juice.

“How is that monster hunting situation working out?” Saffron asked.

Kurbida grinned. “Lots of work. No end of critters on this planet that people want gone,” the  Saiyan said.

Saffron had a feeling that even large dinosaurs fell into Kurbida’s ‘critters’ category. It was  always perplexing what a huge divide there was on Earth between rural and urban areas. In  some places, it was almost like stepping back in time over a hundred years. Just what caused  such a huge rift? What was up with the technological and educational equality in the first place?  Given that Earth was unified under a single government it didn’t make any sense that--

“Yo, are you even listening?” Kurbita waved one giant hand in front of Saffron’s face.

“Sorry. I got lost in thought,” Saffron said.

“You’re a weird one,” Kurbida murmured. It almost sounded like a laugh. None of the people  Kurbida had ever interacted with on any familiar basis was what she’d call ‘a thinker.’ But,  Saffron never seemed to run out of stuff to ponder. The small Human would just stop whatever  she was doing and sort of stare into space, not at anything in particular. At times, Kurbida asked j ust what Saffron was mulling over. Half the time Saffron answered honestly, with phrases like  ‘the fact that communication between individuals will always be imperfect’ or other egghead  stuff. The other half, Saffron would divert or answer vaguely. Part of Kurbida was curious. But  the majority of her brain told the big Saiyan that she had no business asking after anything  sensitive or personal.

Maybe that’s what she was using up all of her energy on. Thinking. Kurbida still hadn’t wrapped  her head around just how little Saffron and the other Demi-Kais ate. Saffron’s lunches were  shocking. Barely anything as far as Kurbida was concerned. But, apparently it was normal for  what Earthlings ate.

“How is everyone else adjusting?” Saffron asked. She meant the Saiyans.

“You tell me. I mostly just stick to myself," Kurbida replied. 

Saffron made a small humming sound.

“Well, Gine stops by the restaurant a lot. Brings two young boys with her a lot of the time. She’s  a real chatterbox—which I wasn’t expecting,” Saffron said.

“One of ‘em must be one of her grandkids,” Kurbida said.

“I think the same. She’s also been asking about cooking classes, even though Mrs. Son has  been teaching her a lot. I guessing it’s because Mrs. Son doesn’t know much about Western-S tyle cooking,” Saffron took another sip of her cold juice.

“You thinking about volunteering for the task?” Kurbida asked.

“Absolutely not,” Saffron sighed, “I hate teaching. She keeps asking after me, though, and I  don’t know what’s up with that.” 

The Demi-Kai finished off her drink. 

“Can we circle back to that honey thing? You said our bees are way more docile and small. What were your bees like?” Saffron asked. 

“Hmmm,” Kurbida brushed her long ginger bangs out of her eyes. 

“Well they were about a meter long. And ho boy were they mean. They weren’t in big hives like yours. It was more like a group of a dozen or fewer. They’d skewer you with their stinger or cut you up real bad with their forelegs. They lay the eggs and then fill a few capsules of honey around that egg cell. So I guess that makes less honey than Earth bees, too. They’d skewer you with their stinger or cut you up real bad with their forelegs,” 

Kurbida made a motion like a praying mantis slicing something. 

“And you couldn’t take them out with Ki blasts. That would ruin all the honey,” Kurbida added.

“So you’d have to bare-knuckle your way through a dozen giant killer bugs and then get the honey?” Saffron asked. 

“Hey, anything worth having is worth the damage you’ll take getting it,” The big Saiyan added. 

A distinctively Saiyan way of addressing the problem, Saffron thought. Although Kurbida was a little different than the other Saiyans. She didn’t seem to have any motivation for ‘having her rightful place being restored,’ like many of the others. In fact, the big ginger preferred camping outdoors and only used capsules to carry around her ever-increasing amount of hunting trophies or other materials to make traditional handicrafts. Mostly giant horns or tusks or giant teeth. 

Most of the other Saiyans were all too happy to enjoy their creature comforts. It made Saffron wonder about the things she took for granted. 

\-------------------

Raditz showed up at the North Quarter with a pile of splinters in his hair. The North Quarter was run by the Demi-Kai Corps, specifically catering to the Earth’s stronger fighters--and the few that visited from off-planet. It was probably the only establishment on Earth where nobody would look twice at Raditz, regardless of the condition he showed up in. It was also the only place that was used to the Saiyan appetite, so the portions were right and the staff knew what they were getting into. Gine was fond of bringing Kakarot’s brats to the place. And as much as Raditz didn’t want to admit anything good about the weak Demi-Kais, their uniforms had become something akin to a guarantee of quality in his mind. 

There were very few rules, which helped. Raditz wasn’t fond of snobby, fancy places. Rule Number One: no fighting inside! All fights took place in the parking lot. Rule Number Two: everyone had to wait their turn for their food. No line-cutting or taking someone else’s food. That was a good way to get Rule Number One invoked. 

The big Saiyan grabbed a seat at the bar, already in a bad mood. 

“Tap beer,” he said, glowering at the bar surface. He glared at the menu when it arrived, too. 

Raditz went for the beer mug as soon as it hit the bar. He downed the whole thing, then put the mug back down and asked for a refill. 

“Not your day today, either, huh,” Saffron sat a small plate of spicy squid by Raditz’s beer, then took the empty glass mug to refill it. 

The big Saiyan made a gruff sound but started in on the appetizer. 

The little shrimp surprised him the first time he came in. She actually remembered the big deal he made at that dinner, and his appetizers were always spicy. Raditz still wasn’t sure if the little weakling was making fun of him or if she was being sincere. Either way, he really might develop a taste for spicy food at this point. 

“I want a big serving of the bacon-fried rice. And a big side of the shrimp tempura,” Raditz grumbled when Saffron returned with the second beer. 

“I got it. It’ll be out quickly,” Saffron replied. 

Raditz downed his second beer just as quickly as the first. Ugh. He made the right choice. If he had to listen to everyone in the family giving him shit for another night, it might have killed him. Truthfully, Raditz was grateful that Gohan seemed far too busy with his own work and new baby to drop by for a visit. Yeah, he tried to kidnap the boy. And see how well that worked out for him? And, yeah, maybe Raditz felt a bit of regret over that. But he didn’t need everyone rubbing that in his face. 

Same thing with the fact that Kakarot’s second boy had reached Super Saiyan before his balls dropped. Raditz fucking  _ got it _ . Even though training with Bardock was going alright, it felt like everyone wanted to remind Raditz just how poorly he measured up to his younger brother. And his younger brother’s kids. Even though Chi Chi always acted nicely, the big Saiyan was  _ positive _ that she still held a grudge. 

And since the whole pile of them planned on coming over for dinner, Raditz bailed as soon as training was finished. He just needed a peaceful meal where nobody was coming for him. And the shrimp? Well. Her presence at least wasn’t offensive. It was a nice change of pace not to be surrounded by people all ganging up on him. He wasn’t sure how to go about doing whatever Earthlings did to make up for being rude. 

The bacon-fried rice arrived. And the side-plate of shrimp tempura. Raditz took in a deep breath from his nose, already salivating. He grabbed the spoon in front of him--another preference the Earthling always remembered--and dug in. 

When Saffron set down the third beer, she also passed a wanted poster into Raditz’s line of sight. 

“Who’s this?” Raditz mumbled around a mouthful of tempura shrimp. 

“A not-so-local criminal. We’ve been asked to pass these around to anyone that could bring him in. Law Enforcement is really only a thing in the big cities, so areas further out rely a startling amount on bounty hunters. The reward seems good, but I’m not exactly familiar with the bounty hunting industry. Most people seem hesitant because of his weaponry--but I doubt that it would matter much to you,” Saffron explained. 

Raditz almost dismissed it out of hand. Then he noticed the rather attractive number of zeros in the reward. Maybe Raditz couldn’t do taxes, yet. But, he was getting a pretty good handle on how much common things cost. And this was good money. 

Now that Raditz thought about it, if there was one complaint Raditz had heard about Kakarot, it was that he was shitty at keeping down regular work. Apparently Kakarot was still a bit touch-and-go about it to this day. Some people might think it was petty that Raditz was champing at the bit for any way to be superior to Kakarot. But, Raditz just needed  _ something _ at this point. 

And yeah. The big Saiyan wasn’t too impressed with Earth weapons. So it didn’t matter what this guy was smuggling. A grenade launcher would probably just itch at this point. 

Yeah. This might be something worth looking into. Raditz took another huge bite of the bacon fried rice. 

“Know where I can find out more?” Raditz asked. 

Saffron cocked her head to one side and paused to think. 

“I might know someone who would know where to inquire further. But, you’ll need to get a cell phone and bank account at the minimum if you’re serious,” she replied. 

Raditz smirked. Well, well, well. Things were suddenly looking up for him. He threw back the third beer and polished off his plates before asking for seconds of both, and a fourth beer. Now that he was in a better mood, his appetite was back. 

On the ninth beer and third plates of his meal, Raditz was finally feeling the alcohol. Maybe he’d celebrated his newfound good fortune a little prematurely. Most of the other patrons were starting to leave. Raditz checked the clock. Yeah. Just about closing time. Hopefully the guests would have left by the time Raditz got home. 

“Final kitchen call!” Saffron shouted into the slowly emptying restaurant. 

A few customers grunted or otherwise acknowledged the woman’s words and began finishing up their drinks. Minutes after that, someone entered The North Quarter. Saffron handed one of the last trays full of empty beer mugs off to the Demi-Kais on dish duty, then turned around. Huh. Galactic Patrol uniform. But, it wasn’t Jaco. They were clearly from off-planet, having blue skin and visible gills on their neck. 

“I’m sorry, we’re just about to close. Unless you have a waiting to-go order, the kitchen is done for the night,” Saffron said. 

Raditz only vaguely listened to the back-and-forth between Saffron and the new guy. It started off normal enough, if a little creepy. But, then it escalated. The second time Saffron told the blue guy she was not interested in going out with him, he started moving towards the employee section of the bar to get into the shrimp’s space. 

After a couple of solid months on Earth, Raditz had learned all sorts of new phrases. Like ‘consent’ and ‘unwanted attention.’ He also learned that apparently big portions of the Earth population followed the same absurdist belief that Frieza did--namely that people with wombs were objects. Raditz had taken personal offense to it after someone tried to bother Gine at an appliance store. And  _ nobody _ messed with a Saiyan’s favorite cook and barkeep. 

In an ideal world, Raditz would have said something cool and erudite-sounding. It would have made him sound like a real elite and tough guy. But, he was over half a dozen large-size beer mugs in at that point. So, instead, he shouted “Parking Lot!” before grabbing the guy by the shoulder and physically dragging him out of The North Quarter. 

After all, Rule Number One dictated that all ass-kickings happened in the parking lot. 


	4. Chapter Three: Fluffy Scrambled Eggs

//Hmmm. Doesn’t it feel like it’s hard to make really nice scrambled eggs? They seem to come out over-cooked and bland often. 

Oh! It’s true that people often have trouble making really nice scrambled eggs. Ideally, they should be soft, tender, and flavorful. But, it’s easier to achieve those fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth eggs than you might think. 

First, use a non-stick, flexible silicone spatula as your main tool. Make sure you mix your eggs together into a bowl before you start cooking. First, add a little oil or butter to your pan. When you place your palm over the pan and can feel the heat, then it’s time to add your eggs. You might also want to cook them on a lower heat than normal. Medium to medium-low is good.    
  
Then start mixing the eggs with the spatula! When they are nearly done cooking, take them off the heat right away! The residual heat will cook the eggs the rest of the way, without over cooking them. If you want to add fresh herbs, you should do that after taking the eggs off the heat, and just take a little bit of time to stir them in before plating. Otherwise, the heat will sap all the flavor out of your fresh greens! A lot of people like to add some cheese or garlic. 

You know, I used to only ever eat my scrambled eggs with a lot of ketchup. But, these taste much better! I might not even need any condiments at all with these! It was also so much easier to cook them then I thought it would be!//   
  
Raditz woke up because he smelled something good cooking. His head felt awful, and his teeth felt fuzzy. Ugh. He couldn’t recognize the ceiling. But, he did think he could recognize the rhythmic call and answer of a restaurant back-staff area. The North Quarter? Raditz rolled over, right off a cramped couch, half-tangled in a far-too-small blanket. 

“Is that our sleeping beauty?” A familiar voice called from the kitchen. 

The big Saiyan grunted, trying to rub the remaining sleep out of his eyes. 

“The fuck am I doin’ here?” He asked, still on the floor. 

“After you beat the living daylights out of that guy, you just passed out in the parking lot. Turns out that guy had stolen the Galactic Patrol uniform. Jaco is here for your report--” Saffron paused as Raditz groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“--and to dispense your reward. Lucky for you, you’ll also be getting some brunch for your trouble,” Saffron finished. 

The shrimpy Earthling disappeared back into the kitchen through a metal door. A few minutes later, the tiny Galactic Patrol member himself entered the staff room. He didn’t seem to be in a good mood. By then, Raditz had at least peeled himself off the hardwood floor and back onto the couch. 

“Oh, so the Galactic Patrol doesn’t have any official statement about one of their uniforms being stolen? Hardly gives us civilians any faith in an organization that can’t keep their own security in check,” Saffron returned from the kitchen, levitating several platters of food with a purple orb. A full pitcher of orange juice settled onto the table in front of the couch, followed by a tall glass. 

“Look, I’m not responsible for every creep in purple spandex,” Jaco replied. 

“OH? Just yourself then?” Saffron inclined her head to one side, clearly unimpressed. 

Raditz let out a loud bark of laughter. 

Jaco opened his mouth to talk, but Saffron kept going. 

“Don’t think I don’t know your reputation amongst the waitstaff for inappropriate comments. There will be no ‘locker room talk’ in this establishment. And if you are going to call yourself a ‘super elite’ then you’d better conduct yourself in the manner befitting one. Have I made myself understood?” Saffron asked. 

Raditz was used to people yelling a lot when they wanted to be heard. But it only occurred to him then that the shrimp didn’t need to yell. She didn’t need to put in that effort. She wasn’t saying anything new to Jaco, but rather letting him know she wasn’t going to put up with excuses. Both of them knew how Jaco was supposed to act. But now Jaco knew that Saffron knew. 

Rather like being read for filth by your own mother, Raditz mused. She wasn’t angry. She was disappointed. Regardless of the particulars of Jaco’s species, Saffron seemed to have tapped into a universal power. The Galactic Patrolman swallowed audibly, a few beads of sweat rolling down his face. 

“Crystal clear, ma’am,” he managed. 

“Your to-go order of chicken and waffles, with extra hot honey sauce and a strawberry banana smoothie will be out shortly. Thank you for your patience,” Saffron said, and then left the room. 

Still sweating, Jaco made a quick salute as the shrimp left. He shook, just a little, in the particular way only a man who had just seen both his career and his life flash before his eyes could. Jaco had just connected a few mental dots--which made him have a handful of realizations. First, Saffron _ kept the order _ at The North Quarter--a place where people who could vaporize planets  _ personally  _ ate. And she managed to keep these people in line by force of personality and threat of refusal of service alone. Second, Saffron had some measure of pull with the Kais. Third, Jaco had not felt so thoroughly scolded since his grandmother caught him stealing a pie meant for after dinner when he was just a boy. So he was certainly not going to fuck around and find out what might happen if Saffron became more than  _ disappointed _ in him. 

Jaco took a wrapped envelope of money from his belt, formally pushing it forward on the table towards Raditz, then beat a hasty retreat to the front-of-house to wait for his take away as quietly and respectfully as he could. 

Raditz used a slice of freshly-baked sourdough toast to wipe up the remainder of the omlette from one plate, then took a happy bite. He had to admit he’d never seen someone make a man shake in his boots quite in that way before. Physical threats and intimidation were all that Raditz really knew how to scare someone with. It made him wonder. 

“Hey. What would you do if you had to take out someone? Someone stronger than you?” the big Saiyan asked when Saffron returned to the staff room. 

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t leave it to chance. If you’re thinking of someone like Frieza, I’ve already got a poison picked out,” Saffron replied, “Nutmeg is only found on Earth, and a common spice. But, in great enough doses, it can cause delirium, organ failure, and convulsions. I doubt his medical staff will know what to do until some permanent damage has been done. It’s status as a spice might also tempt someone with a large ego to eat more, as a show of their status and wealth. Combined with almonds, which naturally contain a small amount of cyanide, the obvious answer is a Nutmeg macaron with home-made, fresh nutmeg paste,” Saffron said. 

Was it suddenly hot in the staff room, or was that just the shrimps’ unexpected, pragmatic brutality in her secret Frieza murder plot? The big Saiyan was always a fan of people who played for keeps, especially when something big was on the line. And in that moment, he’d suddenly learned that not only had Saffron clearly pondered how to emerge victorious in an impossible situation--and actually had a pretty decent strategy. 

The shrimp was counting on the fact that Frieza wouldn’t suspect a weakling to pose any threat, but in all odds probably couldn’t conceive of the fact that some cook on Earth knew his personality well enough to plan an assassination via expensive sweets. It was, in fact, maybe the smartest fucking plan he’d ever heard for getting rid of Frieza. Now Raditz was curious who was also on Saffron’s assassination list. 

Halfway through his waffles covered in sliced red berries and maple syrup, Raditz was suddenly aware of the fact that he’d had his body back for over three months at this point. And, yet, he hadn’t had a woman, or anyone else, yet. Come to think of it, he hadn’t gotten any for nearly half a year before dying, in the first place. 

And. Well. There were certainly  _ worse _ picks around. 

\--------------------------

Raditz had mixed feelings about Trunks and Goten. On one hand, they didn’t seem to find anything objectionable about  _ him _ . On the other, they were the spawn of two people Raditz least wanted to see or get involved with in the universe. On yet a third hand, they were surprisingly good sources of information. On a fourth hand, fuck they were meddlesome and nosy as hell. 

Did Raditz appreciate that they got into his business and picked a good cell phone model for him? No. And, very, very secretly, a little bit. But only the smallest, most minute amount that Raditz would never admit to. 

Was he fuming over the fact that they advertised any minute detail about his life that they found out to anyone within earshot? Constantly. And there was also the fact that they were just everywhere, all the time, constantly within earshot of any conversation he had with anyone. 

Curiously, Raditz getting a cell phone with the intent of getting work seemed to flip Chi Chi’s opinion about the big Saiyan about 180 degrees. She made a huge deal about making sure Raditz had a cooler to function as a ‘lunch box’ while he was out working. Chi Chi even took him and Gine into the city to get bank accounts set up. Guess Kakarot really did cause a lot of issues by neglecting work in his earlier life. So all of that worked out without so much as a single hiccough.    
  
Bank accounts? Check. Cell phone? Check. Suspicious contact established in both spheres of bounty-hunting and the underworld? Check?

The shrimp’s acquaintance ended up being some sort of hacker. Raditz texted a number, once. Then the information on various marks just showed up. When Raditz looked up his record, all the information came from numbers or sources that didn’t exist. 

And the information he received? Exhaustive. There were always multiple photos of the mark, as well as their history and general MO. Raditz couldn’t conceive of a better dossier. What was with all these egghead Earthlings? Did they avoid training for strength to train on reports? That would figure. 

Of course, the brats thought it was the coolest thing they’d ever seen. Trunks was adamant that the mystery hacker couldn’t possibly be as smart as his mom. But, that didn’t stop him from nearly crawling on Raditz’s back to get a look at the man’s phone when the hacker left a message. 

One part of Raditz did savor the fact that Vegeta’s brat thought he was cool. If only via association. Same with Goten. At the same time, Raditz soon found it difficult to get any time to himself. Even when he went to The North Quarter for some space, some combination of Gine, Chi Chi, and the brats were always at his heels. 

And thus, once again, Raditz found himself stuck at a family booth instead of his favorite seat at the bar. He thoughtlessly nibbled at the long-handled spoon that came with his fruit and icecream parfait. The Big Saiyan was running a few numbers in his head. He had come to the conclusion that he could make more money if he took the bounty hunting off-world. Plus, he’d face stronger opponents that he could still take down out there. 

But, there was still the question of where to source a ship. The only Earthlings that made decent spacecraft were the Briefs, and Raditz would sooner die (again) before asking any of them for help. 

Raditz was suddenly aware that Kakarot’s second brat was staring at him. 

“What?” Raditz growled. 

“You like her,” Goten said. 

“What?!” Raditz snapped, still keeping his voice low enough to hopefully not attract attention from other patrons. He hadn’t even realized he’d zoned out. Or that he just happened to be facing Saffron’s direction while he was coincidentally zoned out. 

Goten cocked his head to one side, then a wide grin spread across his face. Vegeta’s brat wore a similar smirk. 

“Old Man Raditz has a cruuuuush!” Trunks mocked. 

In that exact moment, Raditz experienced a moment of true, perfect clarity. He saw the gleam of teenage mischief in the eyes of both Trunks and Goten, and gleam he himself had experienced many years ago. And Raditz knew that those boys were about to inflict something upon his life. 

Maybe a second passed. Raditz stood up with enough force that a normal table would have gone flying. The only thing that saved it was the fact that all the tables were bolted to the floor in The North Quarter. But, the brats were already halfway across the restaurant. They made a bee-line for the staff area. 

Raditz wasn’t going to make it. 

And then both boys were on the ceiling. Unable to move, squirming against an unknown force. 

The big man nearly bull-rushed into the bar. He had forgotten he was still moving--only barely managing to stop before charging right through the furniture. 

“I believe I have reminded you two that there is no running in the restaurant,” A luminescent purple halo shaped into the form of a nearly-complete laurel circle pulsed around the back of Saffon’s head. 

She was Not Pleased. 

A dark, royal purple orb with a matching laurel ring hummed, suspended in air above the petite woman’s hand. 

But, that didn’t stop either Trunks or Goten from ruining Raditz’s day.    
  
“OLD MAN RADITZ LIKES YOU!” The boys more or less shouted in tandem. 

Saffron seethed, an uneven purple aura washing over the restaurant like the shadow of a thunderhead over farmland. All conversation fell dead. 

“What have I specifically told you two about this before?” Saffron pointedly ignored their statements. 

“...no running in the North Quarter…” Trunks muttered. 

“...no going Super Saiyan in the North Quarter…” Goten replied. 

They both suddenly found the floor very interesting to look at. 

“...no roughhousing…” Trunks added. 

“...no going into the kitchens...” Goten said. 

“And you know the consequences,” Saffron intoned. 

“One month ban,” both boys recited. 

The ominous purple glow faded, though Saffron’s sharp gaze did not. Trunks and Goten returned to the ground, already scratching at the back of their heads or crossing their arms in a full sulk. And then the tiny, angry woman’s dark eyes fell on Raditz with the weight of a judge’s gavel. 


End file.
